It’s still a decision. Some days I think I wouldn’t make it. Some days I am full of optimism. I am intelligent, but also a very emotional person. When my emotions are still and enthusiastic , there will be nothing to stop me. When my emotions get worked up and I get upset, then it can be as dramatic as the end of the world right there and then and everything is pointless.
That’s how I have been. I can’t say that’s how I am because I don’t intend me to be this way forever, but that is my starting point as of this moment. I always have new starting points, because every moment I have progressed differently and I never know what my next moment would be like, how I would become. So I always start from where I AM, which is always currently.
So I get somethings right, most things wrong, but you see, as I keep at it, the most things wrong will one by one become most things right and finally, I might just get it. But till then, it is where I am Right Now.
Nanowrimo. I figured even if I start and failed the very next day, its a bonus because I at least, Started. Next year, if I made it through the next two days, then it would be my own success, built upon success. That becomes addictive.
So I figure, I would not let the 50 thousand words daunt me. I would not need to prepare myself perfectly. I would just dive in and start, and figure it out as I go along.
So I guess that’s my decision.
Nanowrimo here I come.
Nothing beats success like a playful attitude.