Doing as I am told.

This and that

So what’s the latest update. My world moves in a whirlwind. One thing does not lead to another. One thing may cause another. The path is exponential, quantum, hardly ever linear.

Anyway, after a week’s break, I am back to ice skating again, happy to be able to spend 5 hours on the rink, basically trying to go round and round on one leg, my left, actually trying to turn around and end up straight, but I keep going round and round, and making myself dizzy. I tried drawing a heart in the ice, drew half a heart and plonk, landed on my butt.

I was limping the rest of the evening. I thought I could do more ice skating tomorrow morning, but then I thought, let’s not push it. Tomorrow evening for another three hours, I have punching and kicking to do.

I have cut down on Pilates, just once a week instead of two. My bass guitar lessons just cut itself out, leaving only drums, for now, it is regretful but I can’t push it. Carrying my ice skates around is pretty heavy already, lugging the bass guitar to class and back really is a bit much. Drumsticks and book is fine.

About love, well hey, like I said before, I have nothing better to do now. I have lived out most of my life, doing everything I needed to do and prove and the rest is now a bonus, more I want to do in fun, (now with love too). I gave up the bass guitar because the teachers were making it quite frustrating for me. I wasn’t in position to give great tolerance to it.Really, things don’t have to be learnt in such an unnecessarily difficult fashion.

Where does this love thing come in? Interesting too. I am a person of 101010, although not technically minded, yet, I am more or less the all or nothing kind of person. Either I pour my whole heart, mind and soul into it, or I pull out and walk away. I think I am mellowing out now. But still, this love thing, is an utmostly curious thing to me. I am exploring it in all its depths and cells. What happens when I allow love to lead the way ?

Actually, I must say, I can say I know nothing about love. Oh sure, the lip service thing of course I can do, The head knowledge thing I can do, but to really really know love, what is that? I am saying 100% of the time be love. Not the I choose to love you, or not you and now not and now yes, or reserved only for close ones and family and thine god.

I mean, is love a softie thing? A doormat miserable looking thing? Has love no power? A pity party? Is love easier to bestow upon the weak, but not to the strong?

Nah, I am not talking of the love of my man or my woman.  Ok, maybe I could, but I am speaking for me, Chicken Soup is someone else’s experience and story.  I am exploring the bigger aspects of love for me. Or has chicken soup already done it? But hey, That is already written much in history. Or the love of god. (In this aspect I am saying, don’t hide behind your god. Stand up and stand out and love, if you dare. ) So let’s talk of us being love.

Well, what exactly am I talking about? I am not sure either. It is a something for me to explore in its fullness, and yes, in the fullness of the next year too !

Love is an incredible thing. An incredible force, skewed, a destructive power.

 

 

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