Doing as I am told.

Life goes on

My life goes through phases. Seems I am done with one, doing finishing touches to it, and there is a lull while I ease into it.

So while it is going through such a phase, I am mellowly  looking at things as they happen. I can make no conclusive remarks about them, just watching them and wondering about them.

The ice, I have fallen in love with the ice and my boots. I feel so good on the ice, my boots feel the ice loving them. We can talk to each other now. Like riding horses, we can communicate now, We are Pardners baby.

So to conclude, those things I can conclude, I have on days and off days with them. Sometimes I love those activities that I do, sometimes I am so frustrated and lose interest in them. For the ice, although I have painful scary days, as when I hit my head twice on the same spot with it bouncing off the ice like a ball, I wanted to give up. But the coach was great. He worked with me, not with words but when I told him what was going on with me, like I am too emotional to concentrate, or my body just won’t listen to me, he would slow down the lessons and concentrate on the basics. On good days, when I am flying high, he would give me new tricks to attempt. When I find difficulty with some old tricks, he would find new ways of exercise to get me to learn components of it. No verbal instruction is much repeated. Just feel the weight shifting by doing different patterns that shift the weight. This way, stuckness is avoided.

For the martial arts, I don’t have much plot to it. I still attend class, but just attending, I have no goals or anything particular in sight which is what makes it difficult. Learning for no reason that I can see. I mean learning to self defend, er, when will I actually reach the point when I can actually self defend and find use for what I learnt? Maybe we go to the next grade before we start sparring. I am still attending because basically I paid up for the year and the staff and trainers are an okay lot.

The drums ? The school and the teachers in combination think that shifting my time frequently is an acceptable thing. It isn’t. It irked me enough that I quit the drum lessons now. The bass lessons earlier on. Both due to the Time disrespect. And the teachers seem to think that it is okay for me to pay for that lesson time slot for them to chit chat with me. What the…

No matter how much I may enjoy learning an activity, if I cannot respect the teachers, I cannot continue learning. Learning for me is a pleasurable thing. I refuse to learn anything if it causes unnecessary frustration to me. Unnecessary frustrations like being  taken for granted that I look easy going and unhurried, it doesn’t mean people can move my time around like I have nothing better to do.

Once too often, I just quit. And they still didn’t get it. So, I have to think about other places where I might learn these musical things.





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