This was going into crumpled ball of figurative draft on the floor again. But according to Erica, it’s okay to write honestly. So let’s just post it today, for tomorrow, it will be old news.But I feel so much better now that I am Enabled to write honestly. For example I love the body, but my early subscriber has bad arthritis of the knee, she is almost chairbound. To express my love of the body, I am conscious that I am so in her face. It wasn’t very nice at all, knowing that I was writing really at her face. Other early subscribers are bible thumpers. Well okay not exactly thumping but their love of God is strong. Oh dear. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my blog title, looking at life, which has its own inherent problems. But having them read my posts…I automatically considered censoring my posts because there is a huge part of life that Christianity is not supposed to look at or touch. Sinful and wrong you know ? If I were considerate of my readers, I wouldn’t be able to say anything. Oh, I would have plenty to say. Or how about pill poppers? I have a huge opinion about the industry. I say there is a better way. But I haven’t yet the energy to be that opinionated about it. So again, I could get into hardworking honest people’s faces again.
So for the year of Postaday2011, it was a lot of talk about nothing, so basically more neutral, sports. But like I said, already in someone’s face. It didn’t make me feel nice.
So you could see that I was not writing for subscribers. If anything I was doing quite the opposite. Let’s see if this year I can make it different. Handle differences of opinions. Because these opinions are definitely important. That’s why it is a big deal. But I was writing to practice writing and publishing posts, it wasn’t my goal to be interactive. I am not there yet. I have no desire to spend the energy defending my position. It is not the time. I am here to think out my position, feel it out. My position in writing.
Here’s an ironed out sheet of paper from the floor :
Today. I am limping. Oohs and Aahs as I sit or stand or move. I had a grand time on the ice. My coach sent me to move across the vast areas of the ice. Conquer the territory. Speed. Space. Sequence. Left. Right.
I was doing it just fine. I did it for hours. Now, I can go straight to the next lesson. I don’t think I can practice again before then. My body needs to recover. I haven’t felt such aches for a long time in ice skating. Not since the early days, a few months ago.
I could feel the blades on ice. I can feel the ice loving me, through my blades.
I went straight to my guitar class. Oh dear. I got some very hard sequences. Lots of coordinating to practice. Left hand, right hand. I haven’t yet a clue what the actual music sounds like from my playing. I haven’t put it together,the sounds that I make . They don’t come to any sort of music. Not yet. Just sounds from awkward fingering and plucking.