Doing as I am told.

To die, To live.

I honestly love learning. I mean succesful learning. I love to discover what makes successful learning, hands on. I love the process, every painstaking bit to its exhilarating mid apexes.

I know I learn each aspect to its death. Death means I learn it till its give up point. I learn till I want to give up. Which can be very early on. I want to give up every time.

Then I realized what give up means. I learnt each point to its maximum. I bring every point I learn to its maximum breadth, length and width. To the point where pain gives me up. Where frustration of going backwards  gives me up. I want to give up, I want to give up. And I do.

But.

The very next moment. Maybe after breakfast. Maybe after a walk. Maybe after working, Maybe the next morning, or the next hour, I can’t help picking it up again. And I found, I actually advanced. So I enjoy it again. Enjoy and enjoy till, pain comes, boredom comes, frustration comes, and I give up all over again.

And pick it up again.

And by little deaths, I conquer.

To know how to die is to know how to live. I died, fully, to the best of my ability, to the fullness of my mind and focus and strength.

And I live again, even more gloriously. Well, a slight bit gloriously, it does add up !

My guitar, I thought I had to give up till Tuesday my lesson with my Teacher. But I went out for a walk after feeling so miserably painful, actually happy to stop, trusting that when I were to pick up the guitar again, there will be an improvement. But I picked up the guitar again and there I am , able to practice to my ear and my nimble fingers. The sounds come out better and better. This time I make sure I do not stick out my index finger like a stiff while using my ring and index fingers. It is a practice to selectively relax the other muscles while using only the ring or index finger muscles.

I love learning you know. I love when I meet great Teachers. I play to please. I love the praise and pride of my Teachers. I work to earn it.  If you know how to teach, having me as a student will reward you so plentifully. But if I met a crappy teacher, here’s my Boot. Permanently and immediately. Ok, maybe after three cock-ups.

**

Here are the details of my agony during a guitar session. Oh my shoulders ache. What an unnatural position.

I have to cross my right leg over the left to position the guitar. It really is awkward. I have never crossed my right leg over the left. That can get quite uncomfortable.

All my current sports tell me to straighten up. Guitar tells me to hunch over while I lean over the big fat guitar to look at the strings.  Ooh….

You ever wonder that guitar learners who become rock and roll stars start off as skinny ? I mean if I had a huge belly and thighs, how on the earth would I get into the position of learning a guitar? By the time they are stars, they can let go, because they don’t have to look at the guitar anymore to play. They know where their fingers go.

So from ice skating expanding out and up, I am huddled and scrunched over a guitar.  Awesome.

 

 

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