Doing as I am told.

Up and Down and Up and Down

It is hard to speak of my frustration.

My teachers tell me to listen to songs.

Yes, so I listen to songs. My ears pick up the drums, the guitar, the rhythms.

But that only serves to frustrate me for when I play my meager few notes, what’s it like compared to the Palace that  feels like a sky away ?

I don’t actually like to listen to songs then sometimes. I don’t want to remember how far I have to reach to get to that place like what I hear on the radio. I would just prefer to plod on and suddenly be surprised one day at having arrived.

I only mention this because I bought a few cds today having walked past the cd station to get to some sushi and got recommended some cds. I told them I want to hear guitar, bass and drums. I bought an electronica, it is about the beats after all. But after getting home, they are still in the bag. I have had to practice my guitar first, and then the snare drum technique. Yes, that’s the right priority.

I took up drums again, this time with another teacher. Boy, he is technically demanding. And he should be. He loves the drums and he records. He has a studio where recording takes place and that’s where I take my lessons.

So I have guitar lessons from  a teacher who love sthe guitar and drum lessons from a teacher who loves the drums.

I noticed myself spilling stuff quite often. I wondered why. And because they are sometimes sweet stuff, I do get a bit annoyed. Then the other day, my right hand reached for a bright yellow thick mango lassi , milkshake like, the whole thing just dumped itself on me. I was dripping yellow. I won’t speak of how long it took someone from the establishment to come to my aid. I won’t speak of when the lady arrived, I was offered two pieces of serviettes. I won’t mention that I got very helpful comment that I could take my remaining kebab away with me. All this while I was still dripping shirt and and pants and shoes with yellow.

I wondered about all these spilling business. I don’t do things like that. I haven’t done things like that for a long time. So why are they happening so often and a full splash on me, that’s a bit much. Then I realized to my sadness, I had lost the feelings at the end of my fingers. My left hand and my right too. That is really sad. I love to touch, I love to feel. I love texture.

But I am not stopping my guitar playing am I? Perhaps with the use of the pick,  I could retain more sensitivity in my finger tips. But if I wanted to play classical like, or latin american like, I would have to pluck the strings wouldn’t I ?  I think I better play more with the pick. Be a good girl. I had told that I love to feel the strings and pluck them. But I will have to do much more pick playing.

My guitar teacher is teaching me ‘slide’ and ‘pullout’. Neat tricks. But what’s difficult at the moment is he is telling me to play the pick downside and upside. That’s a new thing again. Not just having to feel for the strings and pick only to strings to strum on, but also to remember to up and down and up and down. I don’t exactly feel like I am playing the guitar. Just doing this and that on it. Not smooth enough to call it a song.

I like my new drum teacher. It was unexpected. I have had two before him and he is the most technically demanding and I love it.

I have a whole lifetime to go before I get to performance level. So I will be so busy and therefore be out of trouble. I can no longer say ‘I am so bored’. I have no time to be bored.

For my ice skating, my coach is really pushing me. Every lesson I learn something new. I get to use new muscles. I can jump now. The waltz jump they call it, King and I style. Be thrown  in the air and land on the other side.  I don’t jump these days. I don’t have a reason to. I actually forget how to do it. Like how do you just jump high in the air? Not to mention spinning halfway and land on the other side. So I went running. Well striding, throwing my knee forward in big strides. One knee lifts, the other pushes. All the while the chest is out and forwards. My coach wants me to do continuous jumps one after another. Wow.

Oh I forgot to mention that he had me spinning so much that I was sea sick for the whole day. I got to the point where I wanted to puke and my stomach churned and I had cold sweats. Geez. Then I went to see some homes and almost got the heatstroke. The hot sun on my head, the glare of the air in the sun. Not nice at all.

Doing this other 3-turn gracefully makes me feel all the different parts of my body one atop the other. That’s because I can feel something or many parts out of places all trying to stay in that equilibrium where I can stay upright and move from one to another position.

Along with house hunting, I am keeping quite busy. House hunting has now been relegated to weekend activity. Not the prime focus. A curious thing is how suicide is such a common thing. One can hardly find an area where there are no ‘incidents’.




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